Why self-reflection is more than a nice-to-do — it’s the necessary work of growth. A personal take on going inward to move forward.

I’ve been seeing quite a few birthday posts that go something like…

This year I….

• Bought a house
• Quit my job
• Got a degree
• Exited a bad relationship
• Lost 40lbs
• Started journaling

And then the poster proceeds to talk about how much their life has shifted for the better as a result of them “locking in” or finally “choosing themselves.”

When I saw a post like this the other day my immediate thought was, it is amazing how every time we go in, we go up. And that is. Let’s talk about it.

What does it mean to go in?

When ever I heard the phrase “go in” or “go inward” my mind immediately shifts to self-reflection, but what does it means. The dictionary defines it as…

self-re·flec·tion /ˌselfrəˈflekSHən/

noun

noun: self-reflection

1. meditation or serious thought about one’s character, actions, and motives.

My brain sums it up as the why behind the what. Self-reflection is how we gain an understanding of ourselves. It illuminates the reasoning behind what we do and sheds light onto who we are.

How do I go in?

If you’re thinking going in looks like the above photo, it can, but it absolutely doesn’t have to. If you really want to develop a practice of self reflection the first thing I suggest you do is rid your mind of the idea that it has to look like, feel like or sound like a certain thing.

Self-reflection is simply stillness and that can take many forms.

For me sometimes its journaling, sometimes its meditation, sometimes its lifting weights, sometimes its hitting my rower, sometimes its going for a drive, some times its taking a solo vacation and sometimes its just sitting in silence.

The point is to quiet the noise in your mind long enough to evaluate where you are, where you’ve been and where you want to be. And that evaluation can be about one specific things or many things at one time. ( I do recommend writing or recording your thoughts so that you have a way to document your process and your progress.)

Why do I go in?

Can you live your life without self-reflection? Yes.

Do I recommend that? No.

Self-reflection gifts us many things. There are three benefits that really stick out to me and are the core reasons I recommend developing a practice of self-reflection.

1. Clarity
2. A Road Map
3. Guard Rails

Through self-reflection you are able to more clearly see yourself, your patterns and your habits. If you never take the time to sit and see, you will continue to fall into the same traps and repeat the same life lessons. The quiet gives you clarity.

You can’t know where you’re going if you don’t know where you’ve been. Understanding where you’ve been and why allows you to better plan for where you want to go. The road has a path instead of you just jumping from happening to happening.

Self-reflection allows you to understand the what and the why. Understanding why you do the things you do and how your personhood has been shaped by your experiences thus far allows you to understand your triggers and avoid repeated pitfalls. Guard rails.

Do I really go up?

If you’re wondering do I really go in when I go up…that’s a question only you can answer.

Think about it.

List 3 goals you’ve accomplished and consider how you’ve accomplished them. Did you go in, to go up?

Lastly, give your self the gift of self reflection. We expend a lot of our time pouring into others. You can gift yourself 3 minutes.

Set a timer for 3 minutes and just sit. As things come up, document them. Let me know how you feel by replying to this email or leaving a comment.

If it’ll help, I’ll start an accountability hour for us all to commit to going in so we can continue to go up.

All My Love,

Britt